ONLY IF!
ONLY IF!
What now…
She asked herself as a third person.
Only if and if only… I knew. What would have happened to me before I took that fatal misstep?
Oh God.
She cried and screamed at her own reflection in the mirror!
She said these sad and self-condemning words while laying on her back… and staring at the ceiling above.
It would be over a month today since Lucy left her room and met the world outside.
Hers... was a sad story of a woman who tried to run away from her life… her own self.
She banged her head against the walls so many times until she could feel no pain.
Spitting and kicking against nothing while uttering unprintable expletives… did not make her feel better either!
The woman hated even to peep through her windows and check what kind of weather her days brought.
You see. Lucy, a tender young woman of twenty years.
Had met and fell in love with her first boyfriend…. Ben.
Just eight months earlier during the annual local fest in her cool neighbourhood.
Like many young people whose first experience and taste of falling in love the first time…
suddenly…
delude themselves into believing they had found their life partners.
Confusing her hormonal boiling point… Lucy blindsided her own judgement and assessment of Ben
Ben… the fast-talking charismatic womanizer of note… was living high, having the time of his life.
His flamboyant lifestyle gave him the edge over other ordinary boys… his… was from a rich family background.
Only if… and if and only I had listened to all my friends who advised me against having Ben in my life.
Lucy… sadly thought to herself!
After most of her close friends tried to no avail to persuade her to keep her distance from the charismatic and deceptive Ben.
Lucy found out the hard way… and extremely late in the aftermath.
The damage had already been done… just waiting for her to discover it!
With only seven months in her affair with Ben… Lucy caught him cuddling with another girl at a local restaurant.
O for the pain that zapped Lucy’s broken heart…. She cried and cried!
Breaking up with her playboy was the hardest thing… or so… she thought.
Unbeknownst to her… Lucy found out she was seven weeks pregnant with Ben’s baby.
Only if. and if only… I knew. What would have happened to me before I took that fatal misstep?
Torn between her education and going full term with her pregnancy or even risk her life through abortion…
O’ Lucy… why Lucy?
Her equally naïve young lover… was not prepared to settle down so early in his life.
What a shocker!
Love is painful, sorrowful, burdensome and cuts like a knife.
Love…. especially young love is like the Game of Thrones.
In the end… there are no winners!
Only if… and if only.
Lucy had listened and paid more attention to the wise words of her close friends…
There would be no frustrating and crippling feelings and questions of… what now?
Only if… and if only!
The saddest cry one day too late… after all is said and done!
What now?
DISCLAIMER
ALL COPYRIGHTED MUSIC VIDEOS USED IN THIS BLOG ARE NOT MONETIZED BUT, USED ONLY TO HIGHLIGHT AND ENHANCE READING: POEMS, ESSAYS AND NARRATIVES OF THE AUTHOR. I DO NOT OWN ANY MUSIC COPYRIGHT: ALL VIDEOS ARE USED WITH DUE RESPECT TO THE ARTISTS IN FAIR USE MANNER
Comments
Post a Comment
The author would really appreciate your constructive comments based on how you understood and interpret each poem. Poems can mean different things to different persons and all views can be correct as long as they conform to the contents thereof. This is the beauty of Poetry.
Please Do Not Forget to FOLLOW ME in order to get Instant Notifications When Latest Posts are published.